still burning
by k'sbitch
Summary: This is a compleate 5 part story all in one go. au for season 5 and no spiolers for season 6. A little dark. Winsest.


Fic: still burning

Ratting: I think nc-17 to be safe (language and some sex)

Summery: angles and demons might have finished fighting, but that doesn't mean theirs nothing left to hunt.

Warnings: m/m wincest and mentions of other m/m and m/f sex

Will add warnings as I go au from cannon from series 5. There not mine but I will be messin with there world lol.

Chapter 1-

Dean pov

The apocalypse was over. It had seemed like almost a let down to life through it. Dean had planned to go out with a bang. All flames and glory. Make up for the sins he'd built up down in hell and if he admitted it here on earth as well. Now though he was still here, still alive. Waiting for the dust to settle before he went back to hunting. He was taking what everyone called a well deserved break with Sammy. Trying to not let his emotions show. He wasn't big on chick moments, never had been, but this was worse. How could he explain to Sam, he'd wanted to die, bite the big one in style, but that it didn't mean he didn't love Sam.

Dean knew his baby brother well enough to know that Dean wanting to die in the big battle and now being depressed that he hadn't would kill Sam. Sammy would think it meant dean didn't love him.

Which was so far from the fucking truth that dean could laugh. His brother was everything to him, he'd been to hell for the little bastard, but Sam was still insecure enough to think that dean might not love him. Dean didn't know why Sammy was like that, why the kid always doubted his love. He was sure his brother hadn't always been like that. If he asked though that would mean more sharing and caring shit that dean so wasn't in to. So he kept his mouth shut, they both had issues. No need to go all opera on them.

Dean stared at the motel t.v. Another motel room. Twin beds, queens, the guy at the counter had smirked. Just like so many others. Dean didn't get that, he knew not all gay guys were girly and that not all of them pranced about in make up and rainbow flag shorts. But he and Sam were dudes. He drove a slick impala, was built. Dean preferred to think of his looks as ruggedly handsome, even though he had been called pretty. He was all toned muscle and he knew it didn't even look like the sort of muscle you built in a gym. It made him look dangerous as well as hot. His dark eyes sure as hell weren't pretty, they looked like they belonged to an old man, no visible scars but he projected a don't fuck with me attitude as well as any prison convict. Heavy metal screamed from his cars and flowed threw his veins.

Sammy was a contradiction. Boy had grown up big as hell despite eating healthy like a sissy. Broad shoulders, ripped chest and stomach. Kinda had the college guy look going for him. Handsome, edging towards pretty, dean admitted if only to himself. His dark hair was at a length that could make him look boyish almost. The smile was a charmer, like dean himself the kid could lay it on. But the eyes, if you looked close enough Sam's eyes held the look of a man that had been kicked in the nuts by life a few to many times.

They were hot. Dean got that, what he didn't get was people thinking they were together. Dean might have experimented a time or two with more than a guy or two, but he liked the ladies and he was discreet. Sam had been in love with Jess, still had nightmares about her sometimes. Boy was straight as an arrow. So dean really couldn't understand people putting them together. Figured it was just wishful thinking, people liking to imagine two hot as hell men together.

Dean grabbed a beer off the side drained it and flipped off the t.v. he was going to try and sleep. Sam was already out in his bed. Being a hunter helped with something's, you learnt to sleep threw most things. Having the lights on didn't keep Sam awake. Dean wondered idly if Sammy was still scared of the dark. Dad wasn't around to offer him a gun if he was. A casualty of war long before the word apocalypse had been anything other than a joke.

Dean woke up, hand under his pillow on his gun. Then he realised it was just Sam. Sam was sneaking out. Dean did it all the time, especially when things got tough like they were now. Some drinks, some women of questionable morals. Sam wasn't a beer and blowjob in an ally kind of guy, but they were supposed to be relaxing, so dean didn't call him on it. He went back to sleep. In the morning he didn't ask why Sam's cloths stank like stale beer and cigarettes. They'd saved the world so if little brother wanted to unwind by getting wasted or laid Dean didn't have shit to say about it.

He still hadn't said shit about it after it happened every night for a week. Dean had thought Sam would be happier, no more devil breathing down there neck, but he seemed off, same as Dean knew he was. If he'd been up for a chick flick moment dean would ask if Sam was happy. If Dean asked that question of his brother, demanded an answer the fucker would have the right to ask him back. Dean wasn't ready to spill his guts. The big battle hadn't been enough to wash his sins away, he'd created a river of blood from the lives he'd taken. Not giving his life, when others had just didn't seem right. Sam couldn't know that. Dean wasn't gonna share about the nightmares or about seeing blood on his hands like some sort of Macbeth shit. He remembered back in school the women in the play yelling "out damn spot, out" he'd already been a hunter by then, had taken lives, felt blood on his hands. The concept of guilt had been foreign. Now he sort of got it, blood didn't have to be innocent to stain your hands. The people he'd hurt in hell had been there for a reason, no pure souls in hell, but still the shit had stained his skin, drenched his soul. So Dean kept his mouth shut. They were there another week before a case called. It was the night before they were due to ship out that thins changed. Dean couldn't keep quite anymore.

Sam stumbled in to the hotel room. His little brother normally tried to keep quite when he slipped back in. Dean could hear the heavy footfalls and sat up. He could here heavy breathing, smell booze but no perfume. Dean flicked the bedside lamp on. In the dim glow he could see Sam. His brother had a freshly split lip and his cloths were a mess.

"What the hell happened to you?" Dean demanded getting out of bed.

"Nothing" Sam said stumbling further in to the room.

"Nothing do that to your face?" Dean asked standing up. He stared at Sam's face. The split was right in the middle of his bottom lip. It was swollen, puffy, already a little bruised. There was no bruising on the rest of his face. Dean wasn't sure were the blow must have landed. Had to have been hard to have cut him, but not bad enough to do damage to the rest of his face.

" Just a bar fight Dean, hustled some pool with the wrong guys" Sam's voice was on the edge of being slurred from booze and husky from god knew what.

"Your too careful for that Sam" Dean was the one who got in fights, hustling pool one of the many reasons, along with stealing there girls and having a big mouth. Sam was always telling him to be careful. Sam was the steady responsible one.

" Your limping!" dean realised pissed as Dean drew almost level with him.

"Like I said, I had a fight. Trained same as you Dean, its not a big deal" Sam shrugged.

"It damn well is a big deal, since when do you do shit like this?" dean asked

Sam ignored him brushing past to get to the bathroom. Dean was pissed that Sam was acting like this and that he was lying. Sam was bullshitting about the course of the fight. He wouldn't get in a fight over pool. Sam could hustle, but he was careful about it in a way Dean never ever was. He was starting to get why it had made Sammy yell in the past.

Sam pushed past and locked him self in the bathroom. Dean scowled, the scent of beer and stronger alcohol were expected, he'd picked up on them already. The smoke the same, bars were Smokey. The lack of perfume was a mild surprise, sure Sam didn't fuck around like Dean did, but Dean had spotted a few marks since Sam had been going out at night. Love bites and scratches that Dean hadn't brought up like he would in the past cos' that'd lead to conversations he weren't ready for. So Dean had assumed his little brother had been hooking up. He had smelt sweaty and there was something else that was familiar to Dean. After a few seconds staring at the door he realised the smell was cum. looked like Sam's girl didn't wear perfume.

Dean went back to bed, still pissed at Sam and knowing talking to him now would just lead to a fight. Right now he wanted to keep the peace. Dean fell asleep before Sam came back in to the room but woke up before his brother. Normally Sam was neat, but his baby brother had left his cloths on the floor. Dean picked them up bitching Sam out the whole time. He frowned at the dirty knees, had Sam been limping because someone had knocked him to the ground? The idea had Dean's blood boiling. He took a closer look at the cloths finding nothing until he got in to the Jean pockets. Condom wrappers, two of them. Either Sammy had gone two rounds with his girl with out perfume or both members of the hook up had worn a condom at some point. Dean remembered the split lip, he'd seen guys and girls get there lip split if someone fucked there mouth during a blow job. That could course the croaky voice Sam and been sporting to, not to mention the dirty knees. Wrapper one was from Sammy getting on his knees and letting some guy use his mouth, Dean just knew it. As for the second one Sam had been limping, like someone had given him a rough ride. Dean dropped the cloths. Sam had been out hooking up, those marks Dean had seen were about sex, just not with women.

Dean walked over to the bed were Sammy was still sleeping. Face lack, lip scabbed. Looked almost innocent under the blankets. Like when he was a kid and dad would leave Dean to look after him why he hunted. Only Sam hadn't ever been all that innocent. He'd been trained to be a fighter, a man before he was anywhere near grown. Dean had too of course, but he'd had a few normal years first. He'd had those years away at Stanford, but he'd already been trained by then, he was a hunter even when he wasn't hunting. He wasn't a kid, he was a man, a hunter. Dean shook his head, pissed at himself for getting lost in his thoughts. He thought about waking Sam up calling his brother on what he'd been doing at night. When dean reached out to touch Sam though Dean noticed something that by the ache had been there a while. He was hard. Judging by the wet spot in his tight jeans he'd probably got hard when he'd realised his baby brother had probably been fucked rough by a man last night.

Dean stumbled back from the bed.

He was sick, this was why he belonged in hell.

"Dean?" Sam mumbled sleepily rolling over.

Dean couldn't meet Sam's eyes.

"Dean?" Sam repeated

"I'm gonna go shower, we have a case to get to" Dean muttered and he practically ran away like a fucking coward from his own baby brother.

Dean locked himself in the cramped room. Stared at the lime green tile. Tried to breath, which didn't do shit to calm him down or to get rid of his hard on. Dean stripped. Avoided looking in the mirror and got in to the shower. He didn't bother with a cold shower, which had never worked for him. So instead he wrapped a hand around his aching hard on. He was big, nice and thick. Dean had always loved that, because of the way women reacted to it. Right now he hatted his dick. He tried to think of blondes with big tits, brunets with great ass. Any of the girls he'd picked up in bars or on cases. Instead he thought of Sam. What Sam might have looked like on his knees sucking some guy off. Had the guy been as big as Dean? Had he started off gentle before nailing Sam's sweet, soft mouth? Had Sam moaned like a slut? Dean would bet money he did, could hear it deep and rough in his ear. Those big hands would feel so good on his body. Images flickered behind his closed eyes as he pumped his fist over his slick dick. Sam on his knees tacking all of him. Sam up against a wall, jeans around his ankles whilst dean slammed in to him. Rough, hard, wet. The hot, dirty images just kept appearing in his mind. When his orgasm hit dean felt himself shake, his knees almost gave out. He'd never cum this hard from just his own hand before. Who'd have thought the key had been jerkin off thinking of his baby brother?

Dean felt the shame rise up in him.

He'd never felt more worthless,

More deserving of his time in the flames.

Dean had no doubts that when he did die that he'd be going straight back to hell.

No demon deal needed this time around, he'd sealed his fate with nothing but his own hand and fucked up thoughts.

Yeah…..Dean was gonna burn.

It felt a little like he was still burning.

Fic: still burning

Ratting: I think nc-17 to be safe (language and some sex)

Summery: angles and demons might have finished fighting, but that doesn't mean theirs nothing left to hunt.

Warnings: m/m wincest and mentions of other m/m and m/f sex

Will add warnings as I go au from cannon from series 5. There not mine but I will be messing with there world lol. Added warning for mentions of non-con

Chapter 2

Sam's pov

Dean wouldn't look at him when he came out of the bathroom. Sam went for his shower feeling sick to his stomach. He wanted to blame the sick ache in his stomach on all the booze he'd poured down his throat last night, but Sam had never been that great at lying to himself. After Dean had gone for his shower Sam had got out of bed and seen his own jeans still on the floor. It had been stupid to leave them just out like that, but he hadn't been thinking last night. The booze had clouded his head, made it foggy, which was why he normally stayed sober and sensible. If he had acted like he normally did there wouldn't be two condom wrappers on the motel carpet. Part of Sam wanted to be pissed at Dean for looking in his pockets. His big brother had no right to do that and it stung being checked up on like a little kid. Only Sam wasn't angry, he was scared. There was a reason Dean wouldn't look at him, he had to have worked out what Sam had been doing these last weeks. Sam knew everyone thought he was the smart one and he was book smart. Sam loved learning new things, had actually liked school. Dean had hated school, bitched about doing research. Always tried to get Sam to do it with a simple "ah come on Sammy you're the smart one, college boy". For someone who was supposed to be smart Sam fell for that one a little to often. Dean was far from stupid though, he was worldly and knew all about the other world too. When Sam had been a kid he'd looked up to Dean, had thought his big brother knew everything had all the answers. He had out grown the hero worship stage of his life, but that didn't change the fact that Dean knew him, knew when Sam was keeping secrets or lying half the time. Dean was smart enough to have at least a rough idea of what Sam had done last night. And the knowledge had Dean unable to look at him. Shame was a terrible feeling, it made his skin feel to tight and hot like it had shrunk over his frame.

Sam sighted and started stripping for his shower. They had a job coming up. They were going back to hunting, no deeper, more important mission just the hunt. Sam knew Dean had thought Sam would go back to college after the world didn't end. That wasn't going to happen though, he was beyond that normal life now. Picket fences and law degrees were not in his future. His dad must have been right, hunting was in the blood, and you didn't just walk away from it after you started in the life. Sam couldn't walk away now He was a hunter, he couldn't be anything else anymore. Sam wasn't sure he even knew how to be something other than a hunter anymore. Those years at college with Jess felt like somebody else's life. Sam had been wrong he realised, he wasn't always bad at lying to himself. He had done a good job all those years.

Sam looked at his self in the mirror that hung over the salmon pink motel sink. His first thought being that you only got pink bathrooms in motels, the second being that he looked like shit. He wouldn't say hell, he'd had his fair share of glimpses in to hell to think he looked like it. He was sickly pale, skin almost waxy looking. There were dark hollows under his eyes from lack of sleep, research all day and partying all night wasn't leaving a lot of time for sleep. Sam could smell the booze coming out of his skin and he looked away from the mirror, not wanting to focus on how badly the rust brown colour of the scab stood out against his pale lip. It was the colour of old blood already and Sam didn't want to think of how the cut had got there. As he stepped in to the shower he also ignored the bruises on his knees and the other aches in his body. Sam was washing doing his best to think of nothing, which was actually damn hard, when he ran his hands over his hips and frowned. Both hips were bruised, it was pretty obvious what the marks were from. Big hands gripping his hips from behind, Sam rested his own hands over the marks for a second. Damn it, he was lucky Dean hadn't seen these. The already purpling bruises might as well spell out "I got fucked last night" not that Dean probably hadn't worked it out, but Sam wasn't about to give a visual confirmation.

Sam finished his shower as quickly as he could, suddenly feeling the need to be dressed. His nudity was making him feel venerable and he hated it. Dean loved him, Sam knew that, but this was not a part of himself he had planed to share with Dean. His big brother had always been such a ladies man. He was never homophobic, but Sam didn't think he'd approve of this for a shit load of reasons. Like it not being that safe to get loaded and go in to an ally with a guy he didn't know. Dean did it with girls, but even drunk there was less risk there. Sam had always known Dean would have reasons not to like it, so Sam had almost stopped doing it. He hardly ever hooked up, to scared that Dean would find out to risk it. Sometimes the need had been to strong to ignore, but Sam had always been careful. These last weeks though all his usual care had gone out the window. He'd needed to feel alive after all the death. Sex was a centuries old, tried and tested method for that. Sam had expected to die in the final battle, go down fighting back to back with Dean. That was the way it was supposed to be only it hadn't happened and now they had to start over again, start living again. Part of Sam didn't even know were to begin, he hoped that once he got back to hunting things would change and go back to being as normal as they ever had been.

Sam put all his thoughts about his sexuality, the future and how lost he felt out of his mind. He blanked his face and went back to the bedroom.

"Hurry up we need to get on the road" Dean said walking out of the door with out even glancing at Sam.

Sam grabbed his bag and followed Dean out of the room hoping Dean wouldn't keep avoiding looking at him. His big brother hatted awkwardness couldn't bear long periods of silence. They had a long drive, Dean wouldn't ignore him the whole time. He wasn't about to say anything about what had happened either. So Sam was banking on Dean pretending he had never worked out what he had. They would fake being normal, pretend nothing had happened until it was almost like nothing had happened. It had worked in the past.

Luckily the next case kept them so busy there was no time for personal problems. Another small town with a big problem. In this case it was a particularly nasty vengeful spirit. An eighteen-year-old girl had gone to her prom and had never come back. She'd been set up by some of her classmates, another girl had got Kathy-Ann to go to a party at a hotel. Five boys including the other girl's boyfriend had been waiting, the boys had partied and Kathy-Ann had died. The teens had buried the body in the garden of another friends. All five boys and the girl had died, all beaten and cut up locked in there own bedrooms. They'd found a tape of what had happened to Kathy-Ann in the other girl's room, her cruel laughter the sick soundtrack. The sprit had kept on killing though, lashing out at everyone. They dug up the body, salted and burnt the bones. Then it was back to another small, depressing motel room.

"I don't get how she could do it, the girl. Don't get me wrong what those boys did make me sick, but setting up another girl to get raped? It seem like another level of sick". Sam said sitting down heavily on the end of his bed. He still had ash on his cloths from burning that poor girl, but he didn't have the energy to do get up change his cloths and shower. He felt tiered, drained.

"It's a fucked up world Sammy, filled with sick, sick people who get off on hurting people". Dean said sounding as weary as Sam felt.

Sick people, who get off on hurting people, those words made Sam's stomach clench. Did Dean know that Sam had let people hurt him? That he got off on being hurt like that degraded. Sam was too afraid to ask, terrified of the answer.

"I might go out for a while". Sam said grabbing a clean shirt to change into.

"For a drink?" Dean asked voice tight.

"No, I'm not hungry, but I'm gonna get some food for latter before everywhere shuts". Sam wanted to get some fresh air as well, he felt like the motel room was smothering him.

"Good idea kid, don't get in any trouble". Dean warned him.

"I'm not a kid Dean". Sam muttered throwing off one shirt and putting on the clean one.

"Yeah sure your not, bitch". Dean said with his usual affection and it made Sam smile. Looks like all they needed was a hard and bloody case to get them back to normal.

"Jerk". Sam snorted and then he left the room. It was going to be ok between them. Sam went to a connivance store to stock up on junk food, he didn't always eat healthy and Dean never did. Sam ignored the voice in his head that said he was buying this stuff just to see Dean smile. That was normal, he wanted his brother to be happy after a hard case and a shit year. It was completely normal.

The girl who rang up his purchases tried to flirt with him, Sam ignored her whilst trying to be polite. Then he ran away as quickly as he could. He was walking back when he passed a guy in a parked car.

"Hay". The guy called out and Sam stopped to look at him.

Sam felt himself swallow, the guy was hot, toned body showing through tight cloths. He had blond hair that was almost the exact same colour as Dean's. A nice face, with a warm open expression.

"Um, hi". Sam said trying not to stare at the guy, who Sam had placed at being in his thirties.

"No need to look so nervous, I just want to talk. I've been looking for a bar". The stranger said with a smile.

"Sorry I'm not local". Sam didn't like telling strangers he wasn't local, it could make you a target. This guy wasn't supernatural as far as Sam could tell and after all these years he was pretty good at telling. So even if the man wasn't as normal as he appeared, wasn't harmless Sam could probably handle it.

"Same here, I'm just here for work. Got told there was a good gay bar around here, but I can't find it".

The guy smiled, Sam guessed the man had a good gaydar and that he was looking for a pick up. Sam had let himself be picked up enough times to know, to recognise it.

"I'm here with my brother, I should get back". Sam liked the look of the guy, but now was not the time for a casual fuck with a stranger, not when thins were just starting to get back to normal with Dean.

"And can he not be left alone a little longer? I'll show you a real good time kid". He smiled, but it pissed Sam off. Not the pushiness, but the fact he'd called Sam kid. He only tolerated that from Dean. By calling him kid this stranger had Sam thinking of hook ups and Dean at the same time. He did not want to think of hooking up with Dean. Sam kept those thoughts carefully buried, they were sick and wrong and he was going to hell.

"No sorry I need to go". Sam tried to smile but he knew it came across grim. He walked away without waiting for a response. He didn't mean to have these thoughts, never went for men that reminded him of Dean on purpose but it always seemed to happen. That didn't mean he was attracted to Dean though, surly he couldn't be that fucked up. Sam had hoped his type was just a coincidence, he'd heard about women going after men who reminded them of their father. Everyone made jokes about that, girls with daddy issues, but they didn't say it was sick or wrong. Nobody accused these girls of wanting to sleep with their dads. Sam tried to convince himself like he always did that his situation was the same. He had family issues, brother issues, he didn't want to sleep with his brother.

He was close to the motel when he realised the guy was following him. Sam cursed he didn't need this, he just wanted to get in to bed and forget everything. The second he stopped walking the car pulled up alongside him.

"Hay that was pretty rude". The guy told him.

"I don't want to talk". Sam blew out a frustrated breath.

"We don't have to talk. My names Chris come back to my hotel with me. We can have some fun". Chris licked his lips in a way that really wasn't as sexy as he thought it was. The way he looked at Sam made it clear what Chris meant by fun.

"I'm not interested". Sam said firmly

"Ah come on give me a chance". Chris tone was flirty it grated on Sam.

"No". Sam said and then he did something very stupid. He turned his back on the guy. The blow to the back of his head sent him to his knees and had him letting out a surprised grunt of pain. It made his head swim and Sam had been hit enough to recognise the black dots dancing in his vision as a bad sign.

"That wasn't very nice". Chris said grabbing hold of Sam's hair, tugging at the longish length. The pain made Sam hiss and curse keeping his hair long. His dad had always told him to cut it military short like he did, like Dean did.

He should fight, Sam knew how to fight. The pain in his head was making everything all muddled though. His body wouldn't do what he wanted and Sam began to wonder exactly what he'd been hit with. Chris used the grip he had on Sam's hair to throw him forward, Sam cursed loudly when his face hit the concrete. It snapped him back to reality and Sam went to start fighting back, but Chris had put a foot on the base of his back and Sam was pinned.

"I was going to play nice, but now its going to hurt. Which to tell the truth I prefer. I like it like that. The fear, the pain it makes it all so much sweeter. I'm gonna fuck you dry and split you open, blood really does make the best lube, feels fantastic". Chris snarled pressing something blunt higher in to Sam's back.

Running his mouth had distracted Chris and Sam bucked up knocking the foot off his back. He managed to spin on to his back and was trying to scramble up on to his feet when Chris kicked him in the ribs. Sam felt the air whoosh out of his lung's and pain flare all down his right side. Trying to ignore it Sam tried to get up again, he was at a disadvantage laid out on his back. This time he was stopped by what had to have knocked him down to begin with. A baseball bat hit him hard, catching his right ribs again and making Sam cry out. Threw the haze of pain Sam realised Chris must have had the bat in the car with him, in the front, ready. Chris had been planning on finding trouble. A foot slammed down in to his gut, Sam grabbed the fuckers ankle and tugged. If Sam couldn't get back on his feet he'd settle for levelling the playing field by getting Chris down on the ground with him. Sam even managed to get his aching body on top of Chris, pinning him using body weight he started to throw punches. Chris slammed an elbow into Sam's injured ribs, he was distracted long enough for Chris to get free. The assholes face was bloody, already bruising and it made Sam smile threw the pain. Chris apparently didn't like the odds anymore, he ran back to his car and was breaking the speed limit to get away before Sam had even taken his next breath.

He groaned at the pain in his chest and stomach, his throbbing head. Sam found himself rolling on to his side and curling up in pain. He'd had worse, he knew he had, but his body just didn't want to deal. Sam heard his cell start to play some matalica song. He'd let Dean set his own personal ring tone. It took him a few minuets before he could get his cell out of his jeans and up to his ear.

"Sam were the hell are you, it does not take this long for a food run dude". Dean sounded more pissed than he normally was when Sam ran late. He wondered if his brother thought he'd lied and gone to a bar.

"I'm outside". Sam sighted trying to sit up.

"What the hell, what are you doing out there?" Dean asked sounding confused Sam didn't blame him.

"Come out dean I need help". Sam admitted. There was no reply, but Dean didn't hang up.

Sam heard Dean's foot steps and then his brother was crouching down beside him. Dean helped him sit first before getting an arm under his and literally hauling Sam to his feet.

"Damn your heavy it's a good job I'm strong". Dean muttered dragging him back to the room.

Sam was put down on one of the single beds carefully and he was grateful, he was in a lot of pain.

"Sammy what the fuck happened to you?" Dean growled

"I was stupid, there was a guy. He wanted to talk I said no. He followed me and jumped me. Hit me in the back of the head before I realised he was there". Sam was ready to get bitched out, he'd been trained better than that he knew it, if Dean got mad Sam deserved it. There wasn't any yelling, instead Dean sat on the edge of the bed his hands encouraging Sam to sit a little. Sam told himself he shivered because of the pain or maybe he was shook up, it wasn't a reaction to his brother, it never was. The hands at the back of his head were careful but Sam still winced and cursed.

"You have a bad bump, it's bleeding a little. Do you think you have concussion?" Dean asked all business.

"No I think it just dazed me, I fucking hate head wounds". Sam thought it was probably a sign that your life had taken some wrong turns if you knew enough about head wounds to diagnose the severity yourself.

"I know were else are you hurt?" Dean asked his eyes sweeping over Sam looking for injuries. Sam knew his brother wouldn't leave off so he described every blow he'd taken.

"Shirt off now". Dean ordered, damn if he was normal that bossy tone would piss him off instead Sam felt his dick twitch. He struggled out of his shirt trying to think of anything but his perversion.

"Oh shit, Sam, Sammy, I'm going to find and kill the bastard". Dean snarled, Sam hadn't seen him this angry since the last battle had been fought.

"Its fine, I got him good as well, messed his face up". Sam hoped it stayed messed up, he though he'd done enough damage for that. It might stop him from getting as close to guys. Sam had stupidly let his guard down all because the guy was good looking. He didn't tell Dean that part. Just let his big brother check for broken bones and signs of internal bleeding.

"I'll grab you some pain killers". Dean said standing up, Sam watched his brother go. Soon he was handed a bottle of water and some pills.

"Thanks". Sam sighed trying to get in to a better position on the bed.

"Was this guy just looking for a fight? Dean asked getting on the bed with Sam careful not to throw him around.

"Mostly". Sam hedged Chris had wanted to hurt someone and it looked like he didn't care if it was before, during or after sex.

"Tell me the damn truth Sammy or I'll put hair removal crème in your shampoo again". Dean was clearly determined to get the truth but in typical Dean fashion he was trying to keep things light. Dean didn't like heavy conversations or chick flick moments, they avoided that sort of shit till it got critical. Only Dean's light joke hadn't hit Sam the way it was supposed to. He didn't even try to fake a smile.

"Go ahead maybe I should cut it anyway, it just courses problems". Sam said avoiding Deans gaze. Seemed like one of them couldn't look the other in the eye a lot lately.

"Don't be stupid Sam. It's not like it's a youthful rebellion anymore. No one left to rebel against and you're to old anyway". Dean's chuckle was obviously forced. Sam remembered before the big battle, the demons telling Dean how he was empty and didn't want anything. He wondered if that had even changed, if he'd be able to tell Dean had hid it from him the first time.

"Just leave it Dean". Sam said heavily trying to understand how everything had got so twisted.

"Damn it Sam you were always the one who wouldn't let stuff drop before. Well now its my turn, tell me why that asshole attacked you". Dean snarled.

Sam rolled on to his side so he was facing away from Dean. He couldn't look at his big brother see his familiar face and say any of this.

"He was looking for some action, trying to pick me up. I said no and I…. Well…. Some people just don't deal well with being told no". Sam gritted out the word feeling pathetic and weak. Dean was going to hate him, getting his ass kicked over shit like this.

"Did he try to rape you?" Dean's voice was cold steal and it made Sam think of the knives they had been trained to keep sharp.

"No I think he planed to beat the shit out of me first, then he was going to try and rape me". Sam's chest felt to tight as he spoke, half from remembering what had happened and knowing how much worse it could have been. Kathy-Ann flashed in to his mind the way she'd been on the tape, frightened and begging for the men around her to stop. Calling out for help that had never come, praying for mercy while you were punished for just existing. All that was enough to make it hard to breath but it was waiting for Dean's reaction that made it feel like something had reached in to his chest and grabbed a hold of his heart. Sam almost jumped out of his skin when Dean slid up behind him and wrapped him in a hug. It took a second for Sam to relax in to his brothers arm's but once he did the hand let up its grip on his heart and he finally felt like he could breath.

"I won't let anybody hurt you Sammy". Dean said quietly in that husky voice Sam loved just a little to much.

They didn't talk after that but dean stayed with him and Sam fell asleep in his big brothers arm's just like he had when they were kids. For now he could pretend everything was ok.

Sam woke up to a feeling of warmth and comfort Deans scent and body as recognisable as his own soothing him and making him want to drift back off to sleep. That was until he felt the large solid erection digging in to his ass. It took all his will power not to hyperventilate or grind back in to the hard length. It was just morning wood Dean couldn't help it and Sam was sick for reacting this way. He needed to just ignore it.

"Sam". Dean's voice was breathy and close to his ear his breath making Sam shiver and his dick throb hot in the jeans he had fallen asleep in.

"Yeah". Sam muttered feeling both turned on and mortified by the situation meant half of his blood was in his face spread over his cheeks in a blush. The rest was in his dick making him ache so bad it hurt and he wasn't sure if it was the good or bad type of pain yet.

Dean mumbled his response and Sam realised his brother was still asleep. Dean was asleep hard and calling out Sam's name.

Fic: still burning

Ratting: I think nc-17 to be safe (language and some sex)

Summery: angles and demons might have finished fighting, but that doesn't mean theirs not still things left to hunt. Chapter 1 &2 can be found on my lj.

Warnings: m/m wincest and mentions of other m/m and m/f sex

Will add warnings as I go au from cannon from series 5. There not mine but I will be messing with there world lol.

Chapter 3

Dean pov

His first thought was that he was having one hell of a sex dream hard muscular body in his arms body tight against his. Dean rolled his hips in to the firm ass he was pressing to, moaning a little at the feel. It was his dream he could enjoy it if he wanted to no need for guilt here. Dean wrapped his arms tighter around Sam his heart pounding and froze when he heard the pained gasp. He rolled on to his back, eyes flying open as he realised what was going on. It hadn't been all dreams Sam was really in bed with him. He had fallen asleep holding his brother because of the attack, which was why Sam was hissing in pain from having his chest touched. Dean stared at the ceiling feeling like the worse kind of asshole not only was he having sex dreams about his baby brother, he was feeling up Sam after a guy had tried to rape him.

"Fuck Sammy I'm sorry. I was having a dream I didn't mean to freak you out". Dean gritted out feeling like shit for doing this to Sam. Like being a pervert wasn't enough he had to go and expose his brother to that, it wasn't right.

"You said my name Dean while you were still asleep". Sam told him his tone of voice giving nothing away.

Dean couldn't tell if Sam was pissed off or disgusted from his voice so he decided to grow some balls and turn to face Sam. Apparently his baby brother wasn't hiding from the embarrassing situation Sam was on his side facing Dean he hadn't even felt Sam move. He didn't look like he was about to clock Dean, there was no anger or disgust that Dean could see. His face was pretty blank apart from two small frown lines just above his nosed and his eyes were dark. Dean couldn't read his brother and that pissed him off he could normally read Sammy like an open book.

"It was just a dream I don't even remember it". Dean lied furious with him self when it didn't come out as convincingly as he had hoped. He lied to people all the time it was part of the job but now he needed it the skill had failed him.

"Dean your hard right now don't tell me you don't know what sort of dream it was". Sam growled and Dean wondered if his kid brother was any closer to decking him yet. He deserved to get hit.

"I was dreaming of a chick called Samantha?" Dean blurted out and knew his tone made it a question not a statement. It was also clear Sam was buying it so dean tried to think of a new lie.

"I dreamed you walked in on me having sex". Dean thought that sounded pretty passable but his voice was off shaky he wasn't dealing with his emotions very well at the moment.

"You said my name and then you pulled me closer". Sam sounded pissed off now which was right it was the way it should be needed to be.

"Please Sammy don't make me say it I didn't mean to dream that. I can't control my dreams". Dean practically begged the idea of being caught in his perversion making him feel physically sick.

"No I know your lying to me and I hate it I hate all the secrets and lies. I'm sick of lying to you and you just ignoring it till it goes away. It doesn't go away". Sam practically yelled his babble at Dean and it was clear Sam wasn't pissed about the dream right now he was just angry with dean for lying.

"What do you want from me Sam? You want me to tell you I'm rock hard from dreaming about screwing my baby brother or do you want me to ask about the men?" Dean gritted out threw his teeth as his own anger began to simmer. He knew honesty was important between them they had learnt that the hard way on dozens of cases. They didn't have to talk about everything and right now he hatted Sammy for making him own up to even a little of the lust he was feeling. He had made a point of not talking to Sam about their time off the bars and the condoms. He'd though they'd got past that but now Sam wanted to talk.

"Yeah ask about the men normally you can't stand me having secrets if I'd been out with a girl you would have asked for details. Want to know how many of them there were? What I did to them what they did to me?" Sam snapped out angrily.

Dean thought that maybe if they talked about Sam and what he had been doing he might get away with not talking about his dream.

"Fine how many men were there?" Dean asked even though he really didn't want to know he couldn't stand the idea of other men touching Sam.

"During are post apocalyptic brake? Or since you picked me up from college?" Sam asked meeting Dean's eyes and watching as that blow hit. Dean had been trying to throw girls at Sam for years and his brother almost always refused.

"College what about Jess?" Dean blurted which wasn't the smartest thing he had ever said he didn't want to hurt Sam by throwing around Jess name. Dean sat up but didn't leave the bed he wanted to run away from Sam and this conversation but he knew that his brother wasn't going to allow it this time.

"Jess knew I was bi sexual she was as well so it was never a problem. There were men before her as well I've lost count of how many there have been". Sam sounded tiered and angry and Dean didn't know what to do.

"Before college? Why didn't you ever say anything to me?" Dean knew how hard it had been personally to except that he liked to sleep with men as well as women. His dad had brought them up military style and that didn't come with encouraging sexual experimentation. Sam had dealt with that alone when Dean could have been helping him it made a part of Dean ache.

"I looked up to you damn it you were like a god to me I couldn't stand the idea of you being mad at me. You were always chasing girls and I just couldn't stand the idea of you hating me for something I couldn't stop. I tried to fight it I really did." Sam sounded like he was on the verge of tears and instinctively Dean grabbed his brother's hand trying to show his brother that he didn't hate him. They sat their backs to the headboards for a few seconds just holding hands silent comfort.

"I don't hate you I wish you had told me from the beginning". Dean said firmly once he was sure his voice would come out steady.

"You wouldn't look at me after you found the condom wrappers, I figured you had guessed what was going on and that you were ashamed but I knew you didn't want a chick moment." Sam sighted staring down at his own lap.

Dean had to take a deep breath when the image of Sam's split lip came to mind he couldn't believe it was turning him on.

"I was mad that you looked hurt but wouldn't talk about what the hell had happened." Dean told his brother and that was the truth half of it anyway.

"Do you think I'm a freak for letting someone hurt me?" Sam asked sounding almost like a little kid again even though they were talking about sex.

"I don't want to ask this, but fuck it, when you say you let them hurt you how far does it go?" Dean asked trying not to get any mental images of how Sam could have gotten that bloody lip. He hated himself for placing himself as the other man in his twisted fantasy about Sam's sex life.

"I like it rough sometimes. Makes me feel better alive. I like having someone else take control". Sam sighted looking away dean was a little relived that Sam hadn't been getting himself stupid level hurt at least in theory, cos' rough could get too rough. Dean felt his cock harden and throb at the thought of getting rough with Sam.

"You like someone tacking control? You were the king of teenage rebellion you would never do what dad told you and only didn't argue with me half the time." Dean said feeling the by now familiar pang in his heart when he spoke about there dad. He was shocked as hell at the idea of Sam having a submissive streak the little bastard could still shock him.

"That was dad and this is different sex is different. Sometimes I like it the other way I know you thought I was a choir boy but I never was and it doesn't make me weak needing this. Its better than demon blood". Sam used a tone that was so sullen he might as well have been a teenager again.

"I don't think being with men makes you weak, and you don't have to go to college to experiment. I've slept with dudes and I'm still totally badass." Dean smirked deciding why the hell not? Sammy had shared the secret about his sexuality it was only fair.

"What? No fucking way I see the way you are with girls Dean you never look at guys I see you looking and its always at tits not men". Sam frowned

"You don't watch me that close little brother and I'm real discreet dad's military training and all that". Dean shrugged like it was no big deal he doubted that Sam had ever noticed him checking out guys and he normally only hooked up with men when Sam wasn't with him.

"I watch you closer than you think besides I managed to hide it from you. All those jokes about my palms getting hairy if I didn't get laid soon you had no idea that I was screwing around". Sam sounded pissed now and Dean really didn't get what he had said to course that reaction. Dean knew he was a smart ass knew he pissed people off cos' he was one mouthy s.o.b but he didn't know what he had done this time.

"Are you determined to tell me exactly how much you fuck around?" Dean asked pissed that he was jealous of those men pissed off worse that it he was showing his anger about it. At least Sam wouldn't think Dean was sickened by his sexuality now that Dean had thrown his out in the open.

"Hell maybe I am it might just stop you thinking of me as a kid the way you still do despite the fact that I fought at your side during the apocalypse." Sam snapped looking over at him now his face flushed with anger and his eyes flashing it made Dean want to grab him and kiss that pouty bottom lip until it swelled. Finding Sam's anger hot had made sparing and arguing with Sam over the years really fucking hard no pun intended.

"I do not treat you like a kid besides acting like a slut doesn't make you a grown up." Dean threw out angrily half regretting his use of the word slut the second he saw the flicker of pain on Sam's face, but he was still so angry he couldn't quite bring himself to take it back yet.

"What's wrong Dean pissed your not the only slut in the family? You've nailed more bar chicks than a fraternity. Stupid vapid trashy girls who'd fuck anyone at least the sex I have is good". Sam spat at him angrily Dean was suddenly aware of his own balled up fists and realised he must have let go of Sam's hand at some point he couldn't remember when that had happened.

"Who in the hell says its not good? You think your good just cos' you whore yourself out? Tacking a lot of dick doesn't mean you know shit about sex." Dean knew he would regret the things he said in anger to Sam but he couldn't stop his mouth from running hell he hadn't even left the bed.

"I'm good Dean trust me I have made men beg for me to just touch them a little more but you think of me as a nerdy kid you're the sex god brother older sexier. Well your right sometimes I'm a slut and a whore and I'm great at it." Sam sneered at him all moody and pissy it made Dean want to hit him and kiss him at the same time.

Dean saw Sam move and thought his baby brother had lost his temper and thrown a punch but he was throwing him self hot lips smashed in to his. The kiss held as much anger as it did lust and when Sam bit at his lip Dean grunted and opened his mouth. The second his kid brothers made aggressive contact with his Dean lost it he grabbed at Sam pulling him closer deepening the kiss. The anger was still there and it didn't seem to be going away but the lust was only getting stronger. Sam moved on top of him and Dean moaned in to the kiss when he felt his brother's weight settle on top of him. Dean felt precome gathering at his tip as Sam rounded his hard cock in to him and Dean was panting breathless due to need. He couldn't think but when he did Dean realised what he was doing and started pushing Sam away.

"We can't do this Sam". Dean said feeling how swollen his lips were as he spoke his mind was fogged with lust with finally having Sammy on top of him. Being in bed with Sam was a thousand wet dreams come to life and Dean had a feeling that after he stopped this he would only ever wank off to thoughts of Sam.

"You think I won't be good?" Sam asked moving so he was kissing the sweet spot on Dean's neck just above below his ear and then just above his collarbone. Sam really did seem to know what he was doing and it made Dean wonder just how many men it had taken Sam to get this good. Possessive anger turned Dean's stomach and suddenly anger was as strong as lust again.

"Fucking teasing slut". Dean snarled out the words before he could even think. Sam looked up at him eye's showing the same mix of anger and lust as Dean was feeling.

"I'm not a tease." Sam said in a dark silky voice and the conflicting emotions seemed to settle in to determination. More sucking and licking at his neck then lower and hands were at his belt Sam's huge hand's undoing the buckle and pulling him out. Dean stared at his kid brother as Sam moved till he was on all fours over Dean's body his hands moving material and then circling around him in a grip that was just tight enough. Dean hissed in pleasure turned on beyond belief by that simple touch and then Sam's head lowered long hair hiding his eyes, the first lick was teasing. Then Sammy proved he knew how to do more than tease he bent down and swallowed Dean to the root

"Fuck." Dean hissed out from between his teeth. He had been with a lot of people and few had been able to deepthroat yet here his Baby brother was doing it like a pro. People would pay to feel that sort of suction the throat swallowing around him and that damn tongue was like nirvana he'd been shown his own personal heaven before but Dean had a feeling if he could still get in now it would be this he would feel. Warm wet suction slow torture it all had Dean panting. Watching Sam's head bob in his lap had to be the hottest thing he had ever seen that mixed with the sound and feelings were making Dean fall apart. He'd been hard since he woke up and now he was receiving the best blow job he had ever had from the person he had always wanted most.

"Shit I'm gonna cum Sam". Dean moaned and watched with the same fixed attention he would give a monster he was fighting as Sam kept going moving his head faster as he kept taking Dean in to his throat. Dean felt his balls draw up and then he was cuming in thick spurts and Sam was swallowing every last drop. Sam finally looked up at him and licked his lips Dean thought he might exploded at the sight his brain exploding would explain the stupidity of what he had just let happen. Dean watched Sam move so he was sat back on his hunches still looking at him with those damn puppy eyes. Then suddenly Sam jumped to his feet getting off of the bed and away from Dean.

"Told you I wasn't a tease." Sam muttered

"Sam I ah we need to talk about this." Dean didn't know what to do, tucking himself away seemed like a place to start so he did that feeling his cheeks flame.

"You were horny I'm a slut that's all that really needs to be said. I need some air." Sammy's voice sounded hollow and it made Dean feel like someone had twisted a knife in his stomach. Before Dean could even find the words to reply Sam had walked out of the motel slamming the door behind him the same way he always did when he was angry. It made Dean think of when Sam had still been a teenager fighting with there dad in the years before the colt when the yellow eyed demon was the worst thing any of them had ever see. Dean sat up planing to go to the window so he could see were Sam had headed but by the time he got there Sam was out of sight.

The next morning Sam still hadn't come back to the room and Dean had started calling him. Dean called Sam over and over getting voicemail every time. Every single time he heard the voicemail message play Dean hung up he didn't know what to say. Eventually Dean said the only thing he could think of.

"Please Sammy come back. I love you baby brother." Dean murmured feeling utterly broken.

Chapter 4

Fic: still burning

Ratting: I think nc-17 to be safe (language and some sex)

Summery: angles and demons might have finished fighting, but that doesn't mean theirs not still things left to hunt. Chapter 1, 2&3 can be found on my lj.

Warnings: m/m wincest and mentions of other m/m and m/f sex

Will add warnings as I go au from cannon from series 5. There not mine but I will be messing with there world lol. Oh I'm ignoring the Lisa story line cos' het has no place here lol

Sam pov

Alcohol made everything hazy and clear all at once. Some memories were drifting in to his head in bright shiny clarity as sharp and vivid as glass in his skin, other thoughts had been made hazy impossible to hold on to. For example Sam could remember the last fight, sacrificing himself letting the devil in. waking up there had been light not the burning flames he'd been prepared for then there was the voice "_You have sacrificed enough and I still need soldiers. Lucifer will remain in his cage and you will return to fight". _Sam didn't like to dwell on who had owned that powerful voice that had pulled him out of the pit and left the devil behind. After he had found Dean still in the graveyard his body healed tears running down his cheeks as he cried silently. Bobby his surrogate father was alive and his sobs were far from silent Sam had not been able to go to Bobby to begin with the memory of snapping the mans neck with nothing but his mind far to fresh. Sam had fallen to his knees to overwhelmed at seeing his family alive to cope the thump as he had hit the ground had caught both men's attention and they had come to him.

Sam knew he'd been brought back to keep fighting yet here he was sat in a bar in some shitty city he didn't even know what state he was in getting drunk off his ass. He signalled the bartender to pour him another shot of J.D and spilt it over Sam's fingers or maybe he spilt it himself when he reached for the glass he wasn't really sure and he didn't have the energy to care. Sam just raised his fingers to his mouth and sucked off the alcohol tasting whisky and sweat there really was no point wasting it when he finished licking his skin clean Sam noticed a man down the bar watching with interest. Last week Sam would have walked over let the guy buy him a drink and then take him out back last week he hadn't known what his brother tasted like. He'd ignored every single phone call he got but he listened to Dean's message over and over. Hearing Dean say I love you made Sam's heart break every time he listened to the grainy voicemail message Dean had sounded so broken in away he hadn't since before Lucifer fell back in to the pit.

He couldn't call Dean back he'd tried countless times so far and he never even finished typing in the number he had memorised. For once in his life he was completely and totally lost with out purpose. He knew he couldn't keep whoring around just to get the Dean thing out of his system it wasn't as if that plan had even worked. He needed to hunt it was what he had been brought back for but it didn't seem right not without Dean his big brother clearly meant more to him than he should. Sam needed to get away from Dean before he poisoned his big brother everyone knew about the darkness in Sam but no one had guessed at just how bad he was if he stayed with Dean the darkness would seep out and contaminate his brothers soul. It had already begun and Sam couldn't let that happened. Somehow destroying his brother's soul seemed more blasphemes than starting the apocalypse because despite all of the laws Dean had broken and all his supposed faults Dean still had a good soul.

Sam decided he could be lost and still fight, he'd been brought back to be a hunter not to course more darkness. Nobody had told him he had to do it the way he had in the past though he could do it alone no hunting partner, no family. He hadn't even been told what to hunt if heaven had really brought him back it was logical that they wanted any demons left on earth taken out. No one had said the words though the voice had just woken Sam up alive, unharmed and knowing there were still evil he needed to hunt. Sam tossed money on to the bar and left remembering to watch for people following him despite how drunk he was he wasn't about to let someone get the jump on him again. The thought stopped Sam in his tracks the bastard who'd attacked him wasn't going to stop hurting people he was evil just as bad as any demon. Sam knew his smile was probably far from a nice one but he knew what he had to do. He would track down Chris he doubted Dean would still be in town when he got back his big brother would be looking for him and working it was safe to go back. Years as a hunter would make it easy to find the guy. Sam wanted to kill Chris but he wouldn't because it would kill Dean if he ever found out but Sam would make sure the man confessed all of his crimes to the police there were a lot of stages before death a lot of levels of pain. Dean had been made to torture in hell it had changed him hurt him Sam's soul had enough stains that a few more really wouldn't matter they probably wouldn't even show.

It took him a week to find Chris and the guy greeted him by pissing his pants when he found Sam on his door, which was good he was starting out right. Sam felt numb in the face of Chris fear he knocked him out tied him up then he woke him up and started. Fear became terror very quickly. After that Sam set up a camera to capture Chris confessions Sam had been right to think there was a lot to confesses this man had been hurting people for a long time he was as much of a monster as any of the supernatural he had faced had been. Sam left him tied up to the chair and posted the tape to the local sheriffs office then once he was driving away in a rented car he called the police to report a disturbance at the address he'd left. Sam was in a different state by the time he saw the news about the rapist being arrested it sounded like Chris would be going to jail for a long time. He wondered if Dean would see the news at put it together wondered how he would reacted to what his Sammy had done. Dean didn't get that he wasn't who he had been anymore and nothing ever seemed to change his brothers rose tinted view of him.

After Chris he went back to hunting non-human monsters there was always something to find people who needed help. Normally Sam connected with the victims it wasn't something he tried to do it just happened but it wasn't happening anymore he could fake it but the emotion wasn't there. He didn't feel anything when he was killing either not even satisfaction at getting the job done. At least he wasn't enjoying killing things that was something and it was the last thing he was clinging to.

He killed a werewolf in Maine it had killed five men three women and finally one child before he got there. It almost ripped him to shreds but it was dead now and burnt. Sam sat in his hotel room cleaning his own wounds the same way he had been for weeks. He didn't even hear the doorknob turn let alone the lock being picked he grabbed his gun the second the door swung in praying he wasn't about to aim a gun at the maid. Dean walked straight in to the room and in to his line of sight.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been? How worried Bobbie has been?" Dean hadn't sounded that pissed in a long time Sam lowered the gun and dropped it to the bed scared of pissing Dean off any worse than he already had.

"I'm sorry I should have called". Sam sighted he was ready to see Dean all the numbness he had been feeling these last weeks had disappeared the ice that had been keeping him protected from his own feelings was quickly melting under the heat of Deans anger. Sam had a feeling a crack had appeared in his shield the second his brother walked in the room.

Dean slammed the door shut and came closer getting in to Sam's personal space and Sam hatted that he was standing while Dean was standing what he hatted most was that he was still attracted to his brother. The one person who the world had let him keep his blood who loved him protected him had always been there and Sam was trying to fuck that up with lust. He blamed it on the darkness that tainted him but he'd been attracted to Dean long before Sam had ever let himself sin, but then there had always been demon blood in him, it made him hate old yellow eyes even more. That demon had made Sam in to something that couldn't even love his own brother the right way.

"You should be sorry that you left". Dean snarled

Sam froze he didn't know what to say or do his mind was a mix of lust, anger, despair and darkness. He decided staring at his feet might be safer than looking at Deans handsome familiar face. He'd never had a home longest he'd been in one place was college but a dorm wasn't a home Dean had always meant home for him looks like he was turning in to a teenager again and running away from home.

Suddenly Dean was crouched in front of him his brothers callused hands cupping his jaw forcing him to meet Deans eyes.

"I won't let you just leave not after I thought I lost you to the fucking devil. I'm not losing you again". Dean growled at him. All Sam could think of was Dean crying in a graveyard tears running down cheeks that had been covered in blood just minuets before. Mourning the loss of the person that had almost beat him to death. Sam never wanted to see Dean cry that way again like his heart had been shredded.

"Sammy". Dean sounded like he might cry, which his big brother just didn't do apart from when someone died, said tears were a chick thing. Sam didn't want to be the thing coursing his brother to cry any more.

Dean moved closer and then soft lips were on his in the sweetest kiss Sam had ever been given it almost seemed like fate that the person who had always given him everything gave him this. Sam couldn't help his gasp and it was at that point the kiss turn from sweet to a consuming fire.

"What in the hell are you doing to your brother?" the harsh male voice making the demanded had them both springing apart ready to fight.

They both recognised the voice there was no way they couldn't, neither of John Winchesters son's would ever forget that tone of voice after years of training.

"Christo". Dean yelled clearly assuming it had to be a demon even though a dead body couldn't be possessed. His eyes didn't turn black and he locked the door behind him so it wasn't a ghost.

John Winchester was in their motel room looking like he hadn't been dead these passed years. He was also clearly angrier than either of them had ever seen him.

Tbc

I know I'm evil…

Chapter 5

Fic: still burning

Ratting: I think nc-17 to be safe (language and some sex)

Summery: angles and demons might have finished fighting, but that doesn't mean theirs not still things left to hunt. Chapter 1, 2&3 can be found on my lj.

Warnings: m/m wincest and mentions of other m/m and m/f sex

Will add warnings as I go au from cannon from series 5. There not mine but I will be messing with there world lol. Oh I'm ignoring the Lisa story line cos' het has no place here lol

Deans pov

This wasn't the first time Dean had come face to face with a dead man he'd even seen his parents long after there deaths. This wasn't seeing dad as a young man after an angel sent him back in time this was his father in his motel room.

"What are you?" Dean asked unable to believe this could be his dad.

"Human, someone brought me back." John told them gruffly.

"What? That's not possible." Dean frowned moving so he was just sat beside Sam. He hatted that he had almost lost his little brother and now his dad was hear or something that looked like his dad and it was never going to be anything but screwed up.

"Yeah it is. Think about it Dean I was gone." Sam said softly not meeting anyone in the rooms eye just staring at his own lap like a kid getting told off.

"What do you mean you where gone Sam." John asked tacking out the desk chair and sitting down facing them.

"Tell me what happened when you came back first." Sam sighted and Dean just wanted to pull his brother in to his arms to make the pain he could sense go away, but if he touched Sam right now it would reminded his dad of what he'd walked in on and there would be a fight.

"A voice told me I was needed that more soldiers were needed." John told them with a slight frown which coursing lines to appear. Above his nose around his mouth Dean had seen that expression so often it was so familiar but demons could lie better than anyone.

"He's telling the truth I should know. Why not bring a hunter out of heaven they pulled me out of the pit to keep fighting." Sam said running one of his huge shovel like hands through his hair.

"Wait a damn second there you died Sam?" John asked and for once their unshakeable father looked a little stunned.

"Well yeah I died but not that time I died before but Dean brought me back this time I jumped in to the pit to trap Lucifer back in hell." Sam babbled out.

"Explain now." John said firmly

Between them they told their dad about a lot of the things that had happened since his death. There was a lot to tell deals with cross road demons being dragged to hell by hellhounds. John was pale and practically shacking by the time they got to tell him about being Michael and Lucifer's vessels. John Winchester hadn't known about his wife's family being hunters he had no idea that there history with the yellow eyed demon went so far back.

"I missed a lot then." John sighted.

"Things change I should go before I make things worse. You two can go back to hunting together that always worked." Sam said standing up Dean felt his heart start to break Sam was trying to run away from him again after Dean had tracked him down and put his damn emotions out there kissing his baby brother.

"Apocalypses is over so you're what going back to school?" John asked not sounding angry the way he always had in the past when they talked about Sammy leaving. Dean guessed a few years of being a stiff changed your perspective.

"No I was brought back to hunt so that's what I'll do just by myself." Sam started heading for the door not even looking at Dean.

"Is this because of what I saw your brother do to you?" John asked and dean would rather face down another hellhound than have this talk with his dad.

"He wasn't doing anything apart from trying to be a good big brother. I did some stuff Dean was just trying to show mw he didn't hate me." Sam said softly and Dean had to wonder if the kid really believed that it damn well wasn't true. Sammy was supposed to be smart he should get that Dean wanted him he didn't want to make his brother feel better he wanted to drag him off to a bedroom alone and tear his jeans off and fuck him. Sam was really far off if he thought the kiss had just been about comfort.

"Your not going anywhere until we talk Sammy fuck that your just plain not leaving ever." Dean snarled Sam did not get to walk away from him they had (technically) lived through so much they deserved to be happy together even if it wasn't considered normal.

"I have no idea what's going on no freaking clue I'm phoning Bobby." John said looking blank and a lot calmer than he had before. He stood up and left the room like it was a normal day not the day he first saw his son's again after he had died.

"Why has he not killed us?" Sam asked quietly

"Maybe heaven changed him that or it's not him." Dean frowned standing up he walked over to the door so he could try and listen in on his dad's convo with Bobby. When he couldn't hear anything he sent Bobby a text asking for advice. Luckily Bobby had multiple cell phones so Dean got an answer it made him almost choke though.

"Um Bobby says dad won't have an issue with an unconventional relationship seen as they both used to um well they used to screw around." Dean choked out feeling his face go red.

"You told Bobby about us?" Sam asked going pale.

"I freaked out when I couldn't find you had a long talk with Bobby he says we should take happiness as it comes no matter what form it comes on screw society. We deal in apocalypses why should we follow normal rules? He also pointed out you're the only fucker stubborn enough to put up with a bastard like me." Dean explained talking things threw with Bobby had helped him a lot for years he'd been weighted down thinking he was twisted for wanting Sam but somehow Bobby telling him it was ok made it ok.

Sam laughed and it made the knot in Deans stomach loosen a little that was until his dad walked back in to the room.

"I'm gonna go visit Bobby its been a long time since me and him talked and we need to. I gotta thank him for being there for you boys more than I ever was he was more of a father to you boys than I was and I appreciate it. So I'll talk to him I just had to see you both first and I will be back or maybe you can meet me at Bobby's once you've had a chance to talk and get used to the old man being alive again." John said and it was one of the longest times Dean though he'd ever heard his dad talk about feelings not hunting, the no chick flick rule Dean followed with Sam was really only their dad's men don't cry military upper lit shit rewritten.

"Right we'll meet you." Dean nodded they both hugged John goodbye it was probably the first time Dean had seen Sam hug their dad when life and death wasn't in the mix in a long time.

Once john left they were once again alone in a motel room and Dean knew they could play it out like all the other times that dad had left. Fuck that though things were different now and Dean decided to show Sammy that in away that college boy would not be able to argue with so he pretty much tackled his kid brother to the bed and started kissing him.

"Ummmph." Sam said into Dean's mouth. He drew back but he kept his body covering his baby brothers he loved the feel of this over grown puppy of a man underneath him.

"Was that a stop or more? Help me out here Sammy." Dean smirked down at his brothers flushed face.

"I'd be clearer if your tongue wasn't in my mouth." Sam grounded but he was clearly far from pissed if his rock hard cock digging in to Dean's hip was anything to go on.

"Where should my tongue be then?" Dean asked pinning Sam's hand above his head the kid really was on the big side Dean was going to have to buy some handcuffs soon and maybe some other toys.

"Shit Dean don't say something like that." Sam moaned his head falling back and Dean used it as an opportunity to bend down and start sucking bruises into Sam's neck.

"Why? Gets you hot doesn't it?" Dean chuckled and he saw Sam's skin raise up in Goosebumps under his warm breath.

"Yes damn it we are wearing way too much." Sam groaned.

"That's one problem I know how to fix." Dean said feeling back to his old cocky self after way too long not feeling like himself. Sam let him take the lead and Dean wasn't dumb enough to think he was in control for any other reason than that Sam was giving it to him. His baby brother knew all his tricks Dean couldn't charm manipulate or manhandle Sam unless his brother let him and he sure as hell was letting him. Years of practise or being a total man whore depending on how you looked at it meant that Dean managed to get Sammy striped in next to no time and soon his own cloths were joining his brothers on the floor. The noise Dean made when his bare skin touched his brother was hardly human but he didn't care anything on earth had ever felt like this.

"Should have done this sooner I'm gonna make you forget every other man who ever fucking touched you." Dean growled possessively something that he'd never been in bed before but Sammy was his and he was going to prove that to Sam before he left this damn bed.

"Thought of you every single time." Sam admitted just before they kissed again deep hot dirty they could do slow and gentle latter that wasn't what either of them needed right now.

Aggression and lust had been an undercurrent in everything they did for weeks and now they were finally able to touch each other Dean couldn't hold back.

"Dean fuck Dean stop teasing me and fuck me already." Sam cursed his legs wrapping higher around Dean's waist

"We need lube and condom's" Dean panted thankful that some of his brain was functioning on a level above want need touch taste feel.

"In my jeans." Sam said but that was the only help Sammy gave him his little brother went back to kissing and touching everything he could reach while Dean reached over the edge of the bed to grab what he needed. Sam's moans as Dean breached him with lube coated fingers was worth all the effort.

"Enough fuck me already." Sam pleaded

"So fucking hot when you beg." Dean moaned grabbing hold of his throbbing dick and trying to go slow despite how ready Sam insisted said he was.

Being torn apart by hellhounds was less of a torture than not thrusting hard and fast in to Sam's hot tight body. He used control he hadn't known he possessed going slow until Sam was thrashing and moaning underneath him begging for more. The begging made dean lose control he slammed in to his baby brother's body over and over and it was like something was finally right this was were he was supposed to be. Sweat dripped down his back as his muscles flexed every single part of his body involved in this moment mind body soul. Every single part of him was on the same page right now and he never wanted it to end but he knew he was going to cum soon like it or not and he was determined to push Sammy over the edge as well.

Dean felt his ball's draw up so he moved his hand till he was jacking Sam in time to his thrusts he kissed his brother deeply wanting to taste every single part of him. He knew he was going to have to do this over and over again it would never be enough.

"Shit gonna….love you Sammy….fuck." Dean moaned as he came deep inside his brother.

"Love you so much." Sam growled out cuming seconds latter.

They didn't move for a long time after that until the reality of needing to clean up sank in once they had cleaned up they got back in to bed together and Dean pulled his brother in to his arms.

" Never letting you go Sammy." Dean mumbled in to his brothers thick dark hair.

"Good never gonna run from you again." Sam promised

That simple sentence more than the sex even made everything ok in Dean's world, the fighting would still be hard and dangerous but he had Sam now and as sappy as it was his brother's love was all he needed.

He might still burn in hell when the end came but who knew when the end would actually come. Right now his family belonged on earth hunting monsters and Dean was going to take his happiness were ever the hell he found it. Being in bed with Sammy might be as close to heaven as he ever got now that he'd embraced his own damn desires for once but as far as he was concerned that was close enough.

If he burned he burned Sam would probably burn with him and if they burned together Dean could handle it. Wasn't as if either one of them was likely to stay dead any way.

Fin

(For now anyway)


End file.
